I used to get asked a lot if I believed in soulmates, and in my early teenage years my answer was a a rushed, definite “YES” while dreaming of my high school crush. As I grew into my late teens, and college years my answer was more hesitant. Probably because I thought I had found my soulmate 5 times, and all of them had proven to had found their soulmates elsewhere…I decided that the concept of a -soulmate- might be dreamier than it really is.
I didn’t realize my soulmate was “it” for almost two years. The reasons seem more “just life” than destiny, other would argue that it was meant to be. But for us is just a story to tell. We met in a freshman college seminar, on a Saturday morning during Orientation week. I was an international student with Tourette Syndrome, so the stress had my tics on a roll, and I couldn’t keep them quiet for more than 5 seconds the whole class. I sat in the back, and he sat on the front (very unlike us, believe me) and he kept staring at me with a very puzzled look on his face. Later I found out he asked the guy next to him what was wrong with me, and he told him I had TS (I have no clue how he knew, but bless him).
When we left class that day, “puzzled-look-guy” asks me to hold on and apologizes for staring and says he didn’t know I had TS. Tells me I should sit with him and his friend next class, and that his name is Ricky. I do sit with him and his friend the next class, and the rest of the semester for that matter…Well it wasn’t going to be that easy for us, I ended up kinda crushing for his friend and not him that semester. He met a girl and dated for a while too, and we drifted apart a bit after Christmas break. But he was always there..
I got asked to tutor him on a really silly computer class, so we connected again before freshman year was over. During sophomore year we ended up living in the same campus apartments and we’d watch movies, eat out, I’d go watch his basketball games, hang out with some of our friends, and for some reason we’d always end up with one class together (and we had such different majors). We were best friends in no time, and I don’t think each of us knew…soulmates even. We’d go to war for each other.
But that was that, I never really thought of him as more than my best friend, he was my platonic soulmate. He’d ask me to kiss him every day for months and I’d always say no, it was kind of our silly joke. I’d say it was the last thing I’d ever do. Until one day we were watching a movie, sometime in October, I looked him and said what would be the worst thing that could happen if I did kiss you? He looked at me with the biggest, brightest eyes; and I said: I’m serious, we are doing a pro’s and con’s list and if I am convinced I will kiss you. Granted, I am a fan of lists.
Once I was convinced I said, okay you can kiss me. He looked at me and did not move. So I did, and that’s how our non-friend story started. I had a trip scheduled a week or so later. We were going to a conference in Harvard and before going to Boston we were stopping in New York. Right after I came back we officially started “seeing each other”. We were officially dating in November 21, 2015.
We never really had to fall in love with each other, we walked into love each other and I would not have had it any other way. We have made really tough and big decisions, in little time; but we know we want to be with each other so it’s not a sacrifice it’s a step in the right direction. I was dating my best friend, in our relationship everything had changed, but at the same time nothing had changed.
We graduated college in May of 2017 and moved in together that same day. My family flew up from Costa Rica and two of my craziest aunts surprised us with their appearance. In September 2nd of that same year we got engaged, and had a small, private ceremony 20 days later. With the blessing of our church and family, we had our preacher 3 of our friends, and my parents were on a Facetime call during the ceremony. Most people don’t even know to this day that we got married back then. On June 9th 2018 we got married publicly in my home country of Costa Rica in front of my youth pastor, our family and friends. We had the most beautiful home country/destination wedding. On April, 2019 we bought our first home, and I cannot wait to write more dates that carry meaning and milestones with him.
Things have not been easy, they actually have been far from easy. But he makes the weight lighter to carry, and we laugh along the way. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates as a concept. Ricky could have married someone else, and so could I. But we found each other, for reasons beyond my understanding, and I am eternally grateful for those reasons. Whether destiny, fate, life, God; I am thankful…Because we are on the same team, whether soulmates or not, I know he is my best friend, he makes me a better person, he is the future father of my children. The man my mom prayed for, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. The most kind hearted man.
Sometimes I tell Ricky that I want us to have that tv kinda love, not the one from the flashy rings, or some Hallmark Channel movie. The one where they grow old together, and actually love each other, and are fateful to each other. But that it’s so scary, because that doesn’t happen anymore, it’s barely as real as the Notebook nowadays. But he tells me that the way we’ve done things; the way our love conquers distance, and boundaries, and paperwork, and people, and obstacles, the way our love fights and wins against anything and everything; he has not a bit of doubt that’s exactly the kind of love we have for each other. Even if it’s the one in a million..And then I fully believe in soulmates for a few seconds again…