Lately, I have been thinking about the way I act in regards to certain situations, and how I would prefer to do it differently. I might react without thinking when I feel like someone is being hurtful to me or my own. I chalk this trait to my father. I tend to get really upset over petty things that in my mind seem insanely huge, and I do chalk this trait to my mother and her side of the family. These are a couple of the traits I have inherited from both of their sides.
I have been so concerned for years trying to change these, and butting-heads with my parents trying to change them and their attitudes without really looking at the bigger picture. Which is that we are all really doing the best we can with what we are given, and by this I mean that my parents raised me to be the absolute best woman they could ever imagine. But it is impossible to deny that in their late 20’s and early 30’s they did not have their own struggles to deal with, just like I do now. I cannot even imagine raising a child right now, I tip my hat to them, for doing it…They raised me to be a good person with the knowledge they had, the means they had, and whatever had been passed onto them.
But just as I ponder right now on whatever I would like to better about my personality or what I need to improve; I am sure they did the same thing at my age whilst trying to raise a child. They had been passed on a set of values, experiences, stereotypes, traumas, and rules; and they had to choose whether they wanted to follow that or not. My husband and I, will eventually while have to do that too; and both of our families hold differents sets of them.
;We tend too often to judge and blame our parents for doing this or that wrong, or passing “this” value that we do not agree with anymore, or having “that” rule when we grew up. But they were doing the best they could with what they were given, and it does go back to how they were raised. Our grandparents’ generation differs so much more from our parents’ and ours. They had their own set of rules, and stereotypes, and experiences that is so unique, so who were our parents to blame them? And who are we?
All we can do, though, is understand that most of the times we are all trying to raise our families out of love, and doing the best we can with what we have been given and with what we’ve learned along the way. I have learned to let go of whatever blame I was putting on my grandparents, parents, or great-grandparents for the things I didn’t necessary “liked”. Because I have the power to learn and to grow, and to raise our family the best we can with what we have now and with love, which is the most important thing.